My thoughts about John - Ray Bock, Principal of Collier High School

 

I think we all knew that this day was coming.  There was really no cure for the aggressive cancer and brain tumor that John had.  I think it was only because it was John that perhaps we thought he wouldn=t die.  Those of us who were privileged enough to know him, also knew that he was a man of great faith and a man who believed in miracles.  And while the possibility of a miracle seems not very likely or impossible to most of us, John seemed to expect one.  After all he had beaten cancer before.

 

 

From the moment he pulled the school administrators all together one day in late August, and explained the details as he understood them of his aggressive brain cancer and assured us that everything would be OK, we marveled at his courage, determination and his faith.  He asked us to pray for him but especially for Betsy.  His faith was amazing.  And his faith in our prayers was humbling to those who prayed for him.  In my house we prayed for John every night.  When I let john know that, you just knew how important our prayers were to him and what a large part his faith played in his life.  And maybe that=s why we thought just maybe this day wouldn=t come. 

 

In the last few days, thinking about John, my take on miracles has shifted a bit.  I think that as John would say it, AGod=s will was done@ and God let us share for a few years in the miracle that John Doktorski was to us at Collier.

When we hired John 4 years ago, John became the senior citizen of our PE department at the ripe old age of about 45.  We have a great young PE department, anchored by Jeff and Lara and always added to by a combination of  other staff.  The core of the PE department led the way and John became a solid pillar in that core.  They support and take good care of each other.  When John arrived as the newest member of the group, he watched and listened.  He always asked good questions and he found his place in the department.  John was so appreciative of the support that Lara and Jeff provided for him.  He raved about them in my office.  He was a grateful man who made it a point to let me know how much he appreciated the support of our administration.  He was always thankful.

John connected with the spiritual part of our mission at Collier.  He felt it immediately and I think it added to his feeling of finding a home at Collier.  Our program is sponsored by the Sisters of the Good Shepherd and their mission is alive in our school.  John was a good shepherd to his students.  While many students liked John and his corny humor at times, there will always be those who resist.  John wanted a lot for them, however, they don=t always cooperate.  But if a student complained, I always knew I could ask this question.  ADo you think Mr. Doktorski wants the best for you?@  They could never say No.  In time, even the most resistant would know that when John pushed them to succeed or offered his advice about a better way to live their lives, he wanted what was best for them and they could see that in AMr. D@ every day.  In fact, when students complained about John, I knew part of the complaint before I even met with them.  It went something like this.  ALook Mr. Bock, you don=t understand, the guy=s too nice!  That=s not right.  I can=t stand it!  He=s just too nice!@

 

Once John settled in, it didn=t take him very long to begin to think outside the box to see what was possible at Collier.  He started by pushing us towards the construction of our state of the art 3 sided climbing wall and high ropes course, a task previously thought to be impossible.  John was a passionate climber and he wanted desperately to share that passion with our students.  John=s dream became a reality.  We have one of the most comprehensive, challenging and exciting high ropes and climbing walls around.

 

In my recollection of what came next it seemed only moments after we got the go ahead on the ropes and climbing wall when John turned to me and said@You know, we should start a biking club.@  I took a deep breathe, thought about all the reasons why it would be impossible.  Where are we gonna get the bikes?  What about the insurance?  Where are they going to ride?  Around the campus?  Not down the hill?  I breathed out, looked at John who was ready to bury me with the passionate thrills of  riding.  Maybe some of our students don=t know how, what a great outlet for them, the local bike path and all of the benefits to our kids and I said AYeah John, why don=t we look into it.  Today we have a stable of bikes, some new, some donated, all kept up, a bunch of helmets and a biking club that has been a huge success.

 

While John sometimes fretted, and  sometimes struggled with the challenges he faced in the classroom, weight room or our gym,  he never complained.  He always saw the best in our students and I can=t say I ever saw him get down.  He so enjoyed the successes of his students.  A student who made progress in the weight room or was starting to gain self esteem by feeling more fit and healthier.  A student who struggled mightily, but climbed the wall or beat his or her best time to the top. A student experiencing the joys of riding a bike (whether gliding downhill on the front road or fighting gravity to pedal back up).  A student overcoming near paralyzing fear and Ataking the leap of Faith@ on our high ropes course.  And in one of our greatest memories of John, watching him run behind holding on and then letting go while a young lady learned to ride a bike at Collier for the very first time in her life.  John loved it all.  

We have other fond memories of John that are dear to us and tell you a little more about this great man.  I had been talking about trying to ride a bike from my house to Collier for nearly 20 years when John came up one summer day, loaned me a bike and rode with me nearly all the way home to make my little dream a reality.  Of course, I came home exhausted and boasting of the huge feat I had accomplished while John turned around rode all the way home and never lost his breathe.  He rode his bike back up to Collier the next day to see how I enjoyed it.  Well, once the bike club was well under way, John was always inviting me to join them.  I had excuses about how much time away from school and all that I had to do, but John persisted and I happily joined them.  The big trip was down the hill, out to the bike path and all the way to Matawan where John treated everyone to a Stewart=s root beer.  The memory of seeing John with Ahis kids@ sitting under an umbrella drinking root beer on a beautiful spring day is one that I will always cherish.  In fact, if you=ve ever had the pleasure of hearing john=s bike riding stories, you=d know that once when he around a senior in high school he pedaled from South River to Nova Scotia with a friend, riding in the day and sleeping under the stars or on bad nights under a tree in the rain.

 

Several weeks ago I met John=s Dad at the hospital and heard of their trip together biking across Europe after John graduated from college.  I saw John=s Dad relive their ride together, father and son, and recognized a twinkle in Dad=s eye as he got excited about the story.  I really enjoyed that and thought that I had seen that twinkle in John=s eyes before.

While John was serious about his work and his faith, at times he had a Achildlike@ quality about him.  When John got excited, whether it was about biking, climbing, the successes of our students, trying to explain to me the details of making home made beer or roller coasters, you could see the little boy in John and he would smile, get a little giddy and get a little twinkle in his eye.  When John=s dad talked about John as a little boy, he described the man we came to know.  Whenever he could he=d be outside and when the family was having dinner, if there was a little light left in the day, John had one foot under him and another foot heading for the door just waiting to be excused so he could go back outside and run around.

My favorite memory of John, earned him a special place in the hearts of my own daughters and a place on my wall in my home.  I think it was his second year. I mentioned that John loved roller coasters.  While that was a passion we both shared, I didn=t know it at the time.  Apparently, we both liked to nearly scare ourselves to death and I had passed that passion on to my daughters to the best of my ability.  Well it was September and Great Adventure was getting ready to close for the season.  We had season tickets and me and 2 of my girls who were just tall enough, wanted all summer to ride the fastest and tallest roller coaster in the world, King Da Ka, but every time we went, either the line was too long or the ride was shut down.  I conspired to take them out of school early one Friday afternoon and give it one more shot.  John came to me that day and said he needed to leave as soon as the bell rang at the end of the day.  I said no problem not asking what the rush was and then John said AI just want to ride King da Ka once more before the season ends.  After I shared my early afternoon plan, we decided to meet at the park and were on the first ride, John riding with my 10 year old Kelsey and me with my 8 year old Ali.  We have a picture of it and I got keyrings made with the picture of us together on it.  One for me, Ali and Kelsey and one for John.  In the picture itself, I must explain the glasses.  In John=s excitement when he told me that the ride went from 0 to 128 mph in 3.5 seconds, he said it went so fast he recommended wearing glasses.  The only ones I could find in a rush were my kids Harry Potter glasses.  While John and I wore the glasses and my daughters wore none, make no mistake that behind those shades, John Doktorski has that twinkle in his eye.  A twinkle I=ll never forget.

 

Before we say goodbye to John at Collier HS, we should think again. While we=re gonna miss him, he really isn=t leaving us.  John believed in miracles and so I think he=s gonna stick around.  I=m sure he=ll be at the rock wall and the climbing ropes and the bike path.  He=ll be with us in spirit and with his spirit by us there=s much of him that we can keep alive.  When I heard the news of his death, I didn=t believe it at first and then in church on Saturday night it hit me.  When one of my daughters saw me crying, she started too and asked, AAre you crying for John Doktorski?@  I said ANo, I=m not crying for John, he=s in heaven.  I=m crying for Betsy and his family . . .  And me too.  I=m gonna miss him.@

It=s nice to know that John is in Heaven.  Of that I have no doubt.  It=s also nice to know that he left much behind that can help us remember the miracle he was to Collier in the short time we came to know him.