“The goal of our instruction is love”
(1 Timothy 1:5)
John Doktorski
On August of 2007, John was diagnosed with level four brain cancer.
John went home to be with His Lord on Saturday, January 19th, 2008
"Blessed are those who wash their robes,
So that they may have the right to the tree of life,
And may enter by the gates into the city."
Revelation 22:14
This web page is to honor the Lord Jesus Christ by remembering God's servant, John.
“Because He has loved Me,
Therefore I will deliver Him;
I will set him securely on high,
Because he has known My Name.”
Psalm 91:14
From the Dodge Foundation:
We were blessed to have John as one of our 2004 Dodge Foundation
Teacher Fellows. John was an inspiration to us at the foundation, his
peers, and his students. When I met John I was new to Dodge and to
the teacher fellowship program and when I read of what John had
accomplished during his fellowship my jaw dropped. I was amazed
that one of our fellows climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro, an undeniable
physical and emotional feat. We use him and his adventure as an
example to our prospective fellows all the time...so his memory lives
on and what he has done continues to inspire all of us.
In one of his reports to us regarding his fellowship experience
John used the following quote. It resonated with me when I first read
it and does once again as I think of John's accomplishments.
You cannot stay on the summit forever. You have to come down – so
why bother climbing in the first place? Simply this: What is above
knows what is below. But, what is below does not know what is above.
One climbs, one sees, one descends. One sees no longer, but, one has
seen.
There is an art of conducting oneself in the lower regions, by the
memory of what one saw higher up. When one is not able to see any
longer, at least one can still know.
Rene Daumal
When John was diagnosed with Cancer, I
commented to a friend, "John has already had to
deal with cancer in his life once before, I wonder
why God wants John to learn the lesson of
suffering a second time." To which my friend
commented, "God does not want John to learn the
lesson of suffering a second time, God wants John
to shine for Christ a second time." Well said! I
stand corrected.
Pastor Brad Winship
"For momentary, light affliction is producing for
us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all
comparison"
The Bible - 2 Corinthians 4:16
"My Greatest Adventure is Discovering Jesus Christ"
John Doktorski
Sr. Ellen Kelly
Executive Director
Collier Services
I always will remember John as a teacher
who wanted to open new horizons for his
students. He started a biking club here at
Collier and I will never forget the touching
scene of John holding the seat of a bike as
a “tough” teenager learned to ride for the
first time. The joy and pride on this young
person’s face was priceless as John ran
behind keeping the bike steady until he
could let go and let her ride on her own. It
may seem to be a simple thing, but it was
an act of love as he once again found a way
to raise the self esteem of a teen that
needed encouragement. John was such a
good and generous person with time and
talents.
I know that John had deep faith and that all
that he did was out of his experience of
being loved by God and wanting to share
that with others. We are very grateful that
we had the privilege of having John as our
colleague and friend. We miss John, but
our faith consoles us and we know that we
will meet again when every tear will be
wiped away.
May Jesus the Good Shepherd be near to
all those John loved especially his wife and
family.
Dear Mrs. Doktorski,
I was one of your husband's students. I
am writing this to tell you how much
your husband meant to all his students.
He was a wonderful man. He did
everything in his power to help us get
by. I am only one of the lives he
touched.
For example, he gave me a safe feeling
everyday in his class. He cared so much
about having a place to feel good. He
helped me more then I think he knows.
He protected me from feeling hated and
hating others. When I found out I
almost busted out in tears. And many at
Collier felt
the same.
He will be missed and our prayers will be
with you always. May he be happy and
out of pain. He surely will be missed and
will never be forgotten.
Yours truly, SH
John and I went to a stream looking for
sharks teeth. This was after one of
John's last operations and he could walk
a short distance with help, then sit by
the stream. I waded in the stream and
found a shark's tooth.
We talked about the simple beauty of
the cutaway banks of the stream. It
showed layers of copper colored dirt
and darker brown dirt. We spoke of the
cool way the branches curved and how
even this quiet place was as beautiful in
some ways as the greatest places he
had seen.
John Bichart
The Bond of Love
Since John's passing I have learned so much. I
always knew I loved John, but it never occurred to
me how strong that bond of love is. I could
always say "hey I love you my friend" to my
Christian brothers and sisters, as a passing
thought, but I never really thought about what
saying that really meant. Now I know. I have
been sitting here living my daily life since John
left us. "Life goes on" they say after someone's
passing, yes it does, but you never really realize
the space someone leaves behind when they do
leave us. I know where John is, and how he is
probably saying "hey, Bruno's finally figuring it
out!" and smiling and laughing with that goofy
laugh he has, and now I understand how strong
love really is.
Love is sorting through your old photos and
slides, looking for some pictures that might be
needed at a viewing of your best friend and
feeling that unbelievable warmth and power
welling up inside you when you see those photos
and think of the memories behind them. Love is
coming home to a dark condo at night, all alone
and not being able to pick up the cell phone and
say "hey John how was work today?" , and feeling
that hole he has left behind. Love is opening the
trunk of your car and finding the your daredevil
fishing lure snagged on the carpet in your trunk
and remembering how I once said to John while
we were fishing at Scudders Falls on the Delaware
and saying to him "You'll never catch anything
with that one" and he did.
Love is a bond that can not be broken. I
believe it is a gift to us from our Lord to show us
what He has in store for us up in heaven. If I ever
needed reassurance as to my faith in Christ and
what is in store for all of us up in heaven, John's
passing delivered that reassurance to me. For that
I thank you my Lord, and for that I thank you my
friend John.
For being a fine and caring man I thank
you! For making a difference in my
daughters life I admire you and for
caring for those children in your classes
as you always did! I honor you!
Thank you. The H Family
Mr. D. helped me get over my fear of
heights. He also helped me climb the rock
wall and ropes course! I'll never regret
conquering my fears. I owe it all to Mr. D!
He was the best!
DH
Mr. Doktorski is still the best Gym
teacher I've ever had. All of my other
gym teachers hated me and never gave
me a chance. And when I came to
Collier, Mr. D. gave me all the respect I
wanted and needed. I was new and he
gave me all the respect and a REAL
chance.
MK
Letters from students from the Midland School in North Branch where John worked for about 4 years.
"I remember Mr. D. coached me at basketball. I thought he was fair and sweet. I'm sorry to hear
that he passed. Take care." S.L..
"Sorry to hear about Mr. D. He used to be my soccer coach. I have good memories." J.R..
"I'm going to miss Mr. D. I'm going to miss him in gym class. I liked having him as a gym teacher. I
liked playing pillow polo." J.
"I'm sorry to hear that Mr. Doktorski died. Remember all the good time you had." N.
I remember Mr. D teaching me wrestling, swimming, and the jump-a-thon. We will miss him. We all
say God Bless Mr. D's family." T.C.
A WORD TO THE STUDENTS AT COLLIER HIGH SCHOOL FROM MR. DOKTORSKI'S WIFE (BETSIE)
Mr. Doktorski always loved to be a part of good, wholesome adventures. His love of life and his appreciation for nature provided him many
opportunities to explore new things and to reach out beyond his comfort zone. It was sometimes a little scarey for him. He was afraid of heights, but as
a young adult he made the decision to rise above that fear and learn to do technical climbing.
I'm sure he shared many of those adventures with you as he was encouraging you to utilize the climbing wall at the school. He bicycle toured western
Europe with his father and bicycled to Nova Scotia. He loved the thrill of roller coaster rides and taking his nieces and nephew and grandson on fishing
trips. His love
for being physically fit was an asset for him and helped him survive bone cancer many years ago. His physical fitness was instrumental in helping him
to hang on for as long as he did with this brain tumor. He was always ready to share his experiences with others and to help them develop and
improve their physical fitness through fun adventures. He has taken some of his students on hiking trips, helped them develop motor skills and taught
them to swim.
However, there was one experience he had when he was in his early twenties that has impacted him for eternity. That was when he committed his life
to his
Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Not only was he continually developing his physical fitness, but he was now developing his spiritual fitness. This has
given him more satisfaction than anything life could never offer. No matter what life has thrown at him, his trust and faith in God has strengthened and
sustained him. It was God who gave him the peace and relaxation to endure being awake during his brain surgery and to face the rough road that was
ahead. As is quoted in the Holy Bible in Philippians 1:21 "For me to live is Christ, to die is gain." The one and same God who has saved and
sustained Mr. Doktorski loves and cares for each one of you. Life isn't always pleasant, but with God going before us and often times carrying us, we
can get through anything.
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith; in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the
Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing." 2Timothy 4:7-8
God bless and keep each one of you.
From Gordon, John's Son-in-law
Let’s turn our memories back to when we where three years old and see what we remember some may
remember some things and other maybe nothing at all. But the memories will always be there when
Grandparents, Parents, Uncles and Aunts share those memories on with
us. I know of one little guy that loved his Granddaddy so much. He may
not totally understand what is going on, but we know he knew things
were different or something was going on during the time (Granddaddy
was sick, and even during the time of the celebration of (Granddaddy’s
life). We explained to him that Granddaddy was in heaven, although he
didn’t understand what we meant, but we know someday he will.
One thing I do know when (John would come to visit in
Kentucky he would go outside and pull Nathanael around in the back yard
in his John Deere Gator, He taught Nathanael to tie a rope around the
front of the Gator and then pull him around the yard for hours, Nathanael
loved that so much and didn’t want him to stop (John would come and tell
me he has take a rest now and for me to take over), He would just have
so much fun with Granddaddy. It was just about a month ago I had the
boys out in the back yard playing, I noticed Nathanael pulling
Isaac(18months old) around like John did with Nathanael.
John will be missed so much, but I
want to do what I can do, to live out the
dreams that John had wanted to do with the
Grandkids, like fishing, hiking and bicycling. I
know I can’t fill John’s role but I can fill my
role as a father and a Uncle and share to
them on what he enjoyed doing and what
inspired him in life, especially knowing his lord
and savior Jesus Christ.
John we Love You
Gordon, Nathanael & Isaac
A Word from John & Betsie's daughter Ardin - - January 23rd 2008
John's celebration of life!
I have a plaque hanging on my wall at home that reads something like this 'God brings people into our lives to help prepare us for a future that only He can
see.' There is no doubt about the fact that God brought John into our lives for a reason. A reason that we may not even know yet. I had no clue back in
1986 when John (or Mr. D as we called him then) became our new gym teacher that he would also become my Dad.
We have heard many nice things about John and his love of life, his love of God, and his love for his family. But John was a man of action. He didn't just sit
around talking about what should be done - he did it. I am confident that John would not want us to just sit around talking about him and all his attributes and
qualities. John would want us to take what we've learned through him and put it into action.
John was a passionate adventuresome man, and while he was passionate about climbing and bicycling and fitness his greatest passion and his
AWESOMEST adventure was his walk with the Lord Jesus Christ. He was passionate about people and the state of their souls. There have been many
people that have told me that they would not have a personal saving relationship with Jesus Christ if it had not been for John sharing the gospel with them.
What a testimony!...and what a challenge to us as Christians.
There is one thing we are all guaranteed--and that is eternity. All of us will spend an eternity somewhere-either in heaven or hell. John's greatest desire is to
see those in his sphere of influence and beyond spend an eternity in heaven with the Lord Jesus Christ. Smile as that.
God gave us a gift when he gave us John and I think it is ever so fitting that John's name means 'God's gift'. When God gives us a gift does he expect us to
hold onto it and never let go? NO, God gives us a gift, expects us to share it, and will often times ask us to let go of his gift for a greater purpose to be
fulfilled. Today we are letting go of our gift, and I am confident that God has a greater purpose that WILL BE fulfilled.
Jeremiah 29:12-13 "Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me and I will listen to you. And you will seek me and find me when you search for
me with all your heart."
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct
your paths."
God works all things together for good to them that love the Lord.
My challenge for us today -- What are we going to do? Are we going to sit around and just talk and remember or are we going to take action and live.
Today for me is NOT good-bye - it is thank you, it is I love you and most importantly it is I WILL SEE YOU LATER!!
Arden Turner
John with Ray and his two girls riding the
faster roller coaster in the world
John with his friends Miles and Kyle on a
twenty mile bike hike to the Freehold Mall
“Off Belay”
Once a mountain climber is anchored with steel spikes to the rock face, he will cry
“off belay” meaning that his partner, who is tied to him, can now safely climb pass
him.
C. Everett Koop’s son died in a
mountain climbing accident on
Mount Cannon in New
Hampshire. The son’s final
words were “off belay.” In
his book Sometimes Mountains
Move, Dr. Koop writes, “’Off
Belay’ means to us that, under
the circumstances of our son’s
life and his death, that he was
secure, fastened to the Rock,
and was then in no need of any
other aid.”
The Christian is secure to the rock, Christ Himself. Neither death nor life will
separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39).
May all come to understand these things.
“I love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my
deliverer, My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; My shield and the horn of my
salvation, my stronghold . . . For who is God, but the Lord? And who is a rock,
except our God.”
“He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be
shaken. On God my salvation and my glory rest; The rock of my
strength, my refuge is in God.”
Psalm 18:1-2,31; 62:6-7
Devotional thoughts
“The righteous man perishes, and no man takes it to heart; And devout men are taken away, while no one understands.
For the righteous man is taken away from evil, He enters into peace; They rest in their beds, Each one who walked in his
upright way. But come here, you sons of a sorceress, Offspring of an adulterer and a prostitute . . . “ (Isaiah 57:1-3)
At our Sunday Evening Bible Study, Mike G. brought up Isaiah 57 in our discussion of John’s passing. The text
addresses the apparent, untimely death of righteous people.
Edward Young in his commentary on Isaiah 57 writes, “This is not ordinary natural death, but rather sudden death, a
dying before one’s time. Such death are not understood by the godless, for they do not realize that God in His goodness
often takes righteous men to Himself to deliver them from some impending catastrophe. The evil mentioned is general;
and from before it the righteous are gathered.”
But notice that Isaiah points out a different end for the wicked who remain.
Thanks Mike for sharing this passage. The Word is our delight!
A Tribute to John from Bruno Hamann
I believe I met John sometime in the spring of 1980 at Trenton State College, now known as the College of New Jersey. Dates do not matter, but it was definitely one of
the most important days of my life. It was the day I met my best friend. It was somewhere in one of the cafeterias at the college, and a Christian friend of mine said “hey
Bruno, you gotta meet this guy John, he rides bicycles too.” I was into bicycling and needed someone to ride with and so we clicked immediately. As God’s plan would
have it we became best of friends. We became involved with the Campus Ministry of Chi - Alpha. I had just recently accepted Christ into my life, I was in college, I met a
great guy I could hang out with, and all was well.
Soon John and I started riding bicycles together and I introduced John to technical rock climbing. John had always been a mountaineer, having climbed mountains in
Colorado with his father and brother and naturally he was interested in learning about rock climbing. We would go on weekends to a place called Ralph Stover State
Park, aka High Rocks Park, in Pa., a nice park along the banks of the Delaware River. As we climbed together at Stover, our friendship grew and we began climbing in
other areas. Soon we were climbing the “big” cliffs of the Shawanagunks, or the “Gunks,” as they are known as and for years John and I and several friends would climb
there and other places in the North East, including Franconia Notch, in NH.
Franconia Notch is known for a mountain on it’s west side called Cannon Mountain. It is also the residence of the “Old Man of the Mountains,” a rock outcropping
New Hampshire has on it’s state quarter.
The outcropping no longer exists, having fallen down several years ago, due to erosion and ice beating down on it over the years. The State of New Hampshire had tried
over the years to save it with cables and caulk, but to no avail, the Old Man fell down. “The Old Man of the Mountains” has been represented on several U.S. Postal
stamps also.
Many years ago John and I and Betsie his wife and the girls, Arden, Lynn, and Amy went on a camping trip up to Franconia Notch, the family taking John’s father’s
camper and I my VW Rabbit. On that trip John and I took a day to ourselves and climbed the Whitney-Gilman Ridge on Cannon Mountain, which is on the southern side
of the cliff , opposite the Old Man. It is a 600 - 700 foot rib of hard granite. The reason it is there is because it is hard rock and hasn’t been eroded yet. If you look at a
picture of the cliff it stands out.
John and I started out on the climb, the weather was so-so, but we took a calculated risk and decided to go. We both knew what we were getting into and what could
happen if we made a mistake, but we didn’t talk about it much because we had faith. We said a prayer at the base of the climb. John asked me if he could lead the first
pitch, he had never really led such a serious pitch before and I told him if you think you can do it go ahead. So John led the first pitch of the climb and as the morning
went on we kept climbing, leapfrogging pitch after pitch after pitch.
About six hundred feet up the Whitney - Gilman Ridge there is a pitch called the pipe pitch. It is a section of the climb where the hardest part is, hardest as in
strength wise it is tough, it is almost near the top of the climb, it is the crux, it is exposed, you need to take a step over to a small foothold and there are six hundred feet
of air between you and the deck below. There are nice solid holds all the way, no flaky crumbling holds, in other words, it is just you and your skill to get over this section.
Also, right below you, about ten feet underneath you someone had actually placed a water pipe in a crack that was solid steel in the crack that could in no way possibly
come out. So here you are anchored to this pipe by a piece of rope being held by your best friend. Everything was A-ok, it was just a matter of doing it, completing the
climb, and taking a nice hike through the woods back to the camper. John did not want to lead that pitch, so I led it, John held my rope, I did not fall, I made it to the
ledge above, and then a few minutes later John followed me and made the same moves and I held his rope as he did the “move.”
John and I sat on that ledge, knowing we had made it, knowing we had not flirted with danger, but made some responsible decisions and gotten to where we were by
faith. We did it as a team. We sat on that ledge, we ate some lunch that Betsie had packed for us. We prayed to the Lord, thanking Him for the view we had, thanking
Him for the faith we have in Him, thanking Him for the friendship John and I shared, and thanking Him for the beauty of the World around us. That was one of the finest
moments of my life on this planet, my best friend John and I sitting on that ledge with the Lord right there besides us.
I could go on, as I sit here thinking about my friend and the good times we’ve had together, I honestly believe I could write a book about our adventures together.
These are the kind of adventures that only true friends can have. Memories that I believe I will need to write down so they do not fade away. John and I were such good
friends and had so many laughs that I honestly believe he is part of the reason that God meant for me to walk on this earth.
One story I must tell is the story of the bridge. There is a pedestrian bridge that goes over the Delaware River, near Pt. Pleasant, Pa. It is a cable suspension bridge
near where John and I used to climb at Ralph Stover State Park. John and I would on many occasions jump off this bridge to cool off and for kicks after a hard day of
climbing at Stover. Yes, it is illegal to do this. John was often concerned that we might be arrested and it wouldn’t look good on his resume when he went out looking for
teaching jobs.
Well one time maybe 10 years ago John and I were off and it was a hot summer day so we decided to go do a “jump.” There were a few people on the bridge, they kind
of knew what we were going to do and I’d like to say the energy level on the bridge that day was high.
People were laughing and kind of helping us out to warn us if the ranger was nearby. I took off my shoes and climbed over the railing and jumped, it’s about a 35 foot fall
into the water. John did the same, he climbed over the railing, and to make the fall shorter he let himself hang off the bottom I-Beam of the bridge, just hanging from his
finger tips. He couldn’t do it, he chickened out and couldn’t let go, but at the same time he was laughing hysterically, people on the bridge were laughing hysterically, I
was in the water being swept away by the current laughing hysterically, and finally, because he didn’t have the strength to pull himself up anymore, he let go. Needless to
say all worked out well no one was hurt, but here we were, swimming, John and I, trying to get back to the bank of the river laughing uncontrollably, the people on the
bridge were laughing, and I was starting to suck water down my lungs because I was laughing so hard. So I yelled to John “ Ranger Rick is going to find two bodies on
the banks of the Delaware somewhere down near Trenton.” “What’s he going to write on the death certificates?” “Drowning by laughter?” John blew up laughing too,
and I must say we did have a very difficult time getting back to the river bank. Laughter like that only comes with friendship like John and I had.
John, you and I will be friends into eternity…
Bruno
Ray Bock's Words at John's Memorial Service
My thoughts about John - Ray Bock, Principal of Collier High School
I think we all knew that this day was coming. There was really no cure for the aggressive cancer and brain tumor that John had. I think it was only because it was John that
perhaps we thought he wouldn’t die. Those of us who were privileged enough to know him, also knew that he was a man of great faith and a man who believed in miracles.
And while the possibility of a miracle seems not very likely or impossible to most of us, John seemed to expect one. After all he had beaten cancer before.
From the moment he pulled the school administrators all together one day in late August, and explained the details as he understood them of his aggressive brain cancer and
assured us that everything would be OK, we marveled at his courage, determination and his faith. He asked us to pray for him but especially for Betsy. His faith was amazing.
And his faith in our prayers was humbling to those who prayed for him. In my house we prayed for John every night. When I let john know that, you just knew how important
our prayers were to him and what a large part his faith played in his life. And maybe that’s why we thought just maybe this day wouldn’t come.
In the last few days, thinking about John, my take on miracles has shifted a bit. I think that as John would say it, God’s will was done. God let us share for a few years in the
miracle that John Doktorski was to us at Collier.
When we hired John 4 years ago, John became the senior citizen of our PE department at the ripe old age of about 45. We have a great young PE department, anchored by Jeff
and Lara and always added to by a combination of other staff. The core of the PE department led the way and John became a solid pillar in that core. They support and take
good care of each other. When John arrived as the newest member of the group, he watched and listened. He always asked good questions and he found his place in the
department. John was so appreciative of the support that Lara and Jeff provided for him. He raved about them in my office. He was a grateful man who made it a point to let
me know how much he appreciated the support of our administration. He was always thankful.
John connected with the spiritual part of our mission at Collier. He felt it immediately and I think it added to his feeling of finding a home at Collier. Our program is sponsored
by the Sisters of the Good Shepherd and their mission is alive in our school. John was a good shepherd to his students. While many students liked John and his corny humor at
times, there will always be those who resist. John wanted a lot for them, however, they don’t always cooperate. But if a student complained, I always knew I could ask this
question. Do you think Mr. Doktorski wants the best for you? They could never say “No.” In time, even the most resistant would know that when John pushed them to succeed
or offered his advice about a better way to live their lives, he wanted what was best for them and they could see that in Mr. D every day. In fact, when students complained
about John, I knew part of the complaint before I even met with them. It went something like this. “Look Mr. Bock, you don’t understand, the guy is too nice! That’s not right.
I can’t stand it! He’s just too nice!”
Once John settled in, it didn’t take him very long to begin to think outside the box to see what was possible at Collier. He started by pushing us towards the construction of our
state of the art three sided climbing wall and high ropes course, a task previously thought to be impossible. John was a passionate climber and he wanted desperately to share
that passion with our students. John=s dream became a reality. We have one of the most comprehensive, challenging and exciting high ropes and climbing walls around.
In my recollection of what came next it seemed only moments after we got the go ahead on the ropes and climbing wall when John turned to me and said You know, we should
start a biking club. I took a deep breathe, thought about all the reasons why it would be impossible. “Where are we gonna get the bikes? What about the insurance? Where are
they going to ride? Around the campus? Not down the hill!” I breathed out, looked at John who was ready to bury me with the passionate thrills of riding. John said, “Maybe
some of our students don’t know how, what a great outlet for them, the local bike path and all of the benefits to our kids,” and I said “Yeah John, why don’t we look into it.”
Today we have a stable of bikes, some new, some donated, all kept up, a bunch of helmets and a biking club that has been a huge success.
While John sometimes fretted, and sometimes struggled with the challenges he faced in the classroom, weight room or our gym, he never complained. He always saw the best in
our students and I can’t say I ever saw him get down. He so enjoyed the successes of his students - - a student who made progress in the weight room or was starting to gain self
esteem by feeling more fit and healthier - - a student who struggled mightily, but climbed the wall or beat his or her best time to the top - - a student experiencing the joys of
riding a bike (whether gliding downhill on the front road or fighting gravity to pedal back up) -- a student overcoming near paralyzing fear and taking the leap of faith on our
high ropes course. And in one of our greatest memories of John, watching him run behind holding on and then letting go while a young lady learned to ride a bike at Collier for
the very first time in her life. John loved it all.
We have other fond memories of John that are dear to us and tell you a little more about this great man. I had been talking about trying to ride a bike from my house to Collier
for nearly 20 years when John came up one summer day, loaned me a bike and rode with me nearly all the way home to make my little dream a reality. Of course, I came home
exhausted and boasting of the huge feat I had accomplished while John turned around rode all the way home and never lost his breathe. He rode his bike back up to Collier the
next day to see how I enjoyed it. Well, once the bike club was well under way, John was always inviting me to join them. I had excuses about how much time away from school
and all that I had to do, but John persisted and I happily joined them. The big trip was down the hill, out to the bike path and all the way to Matawan where John treated
everyone to a Stewart’s root beer. The memory of seeing John with his kids sitting under an umbrella drinking root beer on a beautiful spring day is one that I will always
cherish. In fact, if you’ve ever had the pleasure of hearing John’s bike riding stories, you’d know that once when he around a senior in high school he pedaled from South River
to Nova Scotia with a friend, riding in the day and sleeping under the stars or on bad nights under a tree in the rain.
Several weeks ago I met John’s Dad at the hospital and heard of their trip together biking across Europe after John graduated from college. I saw John’s Dad relive their ride
together, father and son, and recognized a twinkle in Dad’s eye as he got excited about the story. I really enjoyed that and thought that I had seen that twinkle in John’s eyes
before.
While John was serious about his work and his faith, at times he had a child-like quality about him. When John got excited, whether it was about biking, climbing, the successes
of our students, trying to explain to me the details of making home made beer or roller coasters, you could see the little boy in John and he would smile, get a little giddy and get
a little twinkle in his eye. When John’s dad talked about John as a little boy, he described the man we came to know. Whenever he could he’d be outside and when the family
was having dinner, if there was a little light left in the day, John had one foot under him and another foot heading for the door just waiting to be excused so he could go back
outside and run around.
My favorite memory of John, earned him a special place in the hearts of my own daughters and a place on my wall in my home. I think it was his second year. I mentioned that
John loved roller coasters. While that was a passion we both shared, I didn’t know it at the time. Apparently, we both liked to nearly scare ourselves to death and I had passed
that passion on to my daughters to the best of my ability. Well it was September and Great Adventure was getting ready to close for the season. We had season tickets and me
and 2 of my girls who were just tall enough, wanted all summer to ride the fastest and tallest roller coaster in the world, “King Da Ka,” but every time we went, either the line
was too long or the ride was shut down. I conspired to take them out of school early one Friday afternoon and give it one more shot. John came to me that day and said he
needed to leave as soon as the bell rang at the end of the day. I said no problem not asking what the rush was and then John said AI just want to ride “King Da Ka” once more
before the season ends. After I shared my early afternoon plan, we decided to meet at the park and were on the first ride, John riding with my 10 year old Kelsey and me with
my 8 year old Ali. We have a picture of it and I got key rings made with the picture of us together on it. One for me, Ali and Kelsey and one for John. In the picture itself, I
must explain the glasses. In John’s excitement when he told me that the ride went from 0 to 128 mph in 3.5 seconds, he said it went so fast he recommended wearing glasses.
The only ones I could find in a rush were my kids Harry Potter glasses. While John and I wore the glasses and my daughters wore none, make no mistake that behind those
shades, John Doktorski has that twinkle in his eye. A twinkle I’ll never forget.
Before we say goodbye to John at Collier HS, we should think again. While were gonna miss him, he really isn’t leaving us. John believed in miracles and so I think he’s gonna
stick around. I’m sure he’ll be at the rock wall and the climbing ropes and the bike path. He’ll be with us in spirit and with his spirit by us there’s much of him that we can keep
alive. When I heard the news of his death, I didn’t believe it at first and then in church on Saturday night it hit me. When one of my daughters saw me crying, she started too
and asked, “Are you crying for John Doktorski?” I said. “No, I’m not crying for John, he’s in heaven. I’m crying for Betsy and his family . . .” And me too. I’m gonna miss
him.
It’s nice to know that John is in Heaven. Of that I have no doubt. It’s also nice to know that he left much behind that can help us remember the miracle he was to Collier in the
short time we came to know him.
Thanks Betsy for allowing me to speak. That=s too for modeling what love and loyalty look like in your care for john in the last months of his life. Thanks too for showing us
what courage is. Your ability to tell us how much you’ve been blessed in the midst of tragedy was an inspiration to us.
But thanks much more for sharing John with us in our family at Collier. He was a brother to some, an uncle or father to others and a friend to all of us. Thank You.
Eileen DeMarco
My Own Memory of John
It's interesting how life twists and turns. I've heard life's journey compared to a giant tapestry on which the Lord is continually creating the picture of our lives. These threads
of our lives met and intertwined with those of John and Betsy about a dozen or more years ago...
We first met John and Betsy at a church we both attended. Our three daughters were young and roughly the same age as their three daughters. Both John and my husband,
Greg, were teachers. Our Christian Walk, teaching, and the six daughters between us gave us many things in common. At that time, John and Betsy headed up the Nursing Home
Ministry. We had never before volunteered for ministry work, but through their invitation, we joined in with John and Betsy and several others to spend certain Sunday afternoons
at a local nursing home.
It was indeed a heartwarming experience for me to witness the heartfelt dedication John and Betsy demonstrated toward the elderly people at the nursing home. They had to
patiently and tenderly prompt the residents to attend a service that John led. This meant rounding up the residents from their various rooms and physically walking or wheeling
them to the service. John carted his equipment back and forth from home each time he held a service. He played his guitar, sang, and gave a bible lesson that was simple enough
not to be too challenging for the seniors. Then John would ask if anyone wanted to profess their faith in Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. Every time we gathered,
John would ask that all important question. And often times the same seniors would profess their faith as if it were the first time they had ever heard John's message. But John
was patient, devoted and good natured. And those qualities made him a terrific teacher to the elderly.
John never lost his patience with the senior residents even though some of them couldn't remember having ever seen or heard him before that day. He would tell them again, as if
for the first time, that Jesus was their Lord and Savior, and all they had to do was ask Jesus to come into their hearts in order to spend eternity with HIM in heaven. So many
times we would see tears well up in the eyes of the residents there at the nursing home. They felt such relief and hope through John's teachings. So many of them were close to
"coming home". Through John's message, they felt overwhelming peace.
So this was our family's first introduction to participation in ministry. And unfailingly, John was a wonderful example of God's love in action. I can't think of a better example
for us and our children then to be introduced to being "of use to the Lord" through John's leadership in that ministry. I will be forever thankful for God's guidance through John's
loving example.
The tapestry of our lives continued as we eventually moved from New Jersey to North Carolina and then to Florida. We kept scant touch with John and Betsy with just an e-
mail between us here and there. Life went on as usual. Then one day we received an e-mail saying they were traveling to Florida in August and could we meet with them. That
reunion between the four of us never took place. Life for John and Betsy took a "different" twist and turn when they reached Florida. The tapestry threads coming ever so
near...but never quite touching again between the four of us. At least not until we all join John in the eternity that he spoke about so often in that nursing home those many years
ago. And John, again, being patient, devoted and of good-nature is waiting for us in a place further along in our eternity. That last twist in the tapestry threads that leads us all
home to Our Lord.
Eileen DeMarco
“The goal of our instruction is love”
(1 Timothy 1:5)